Children are infuriating! And it can be hugely difficult to keep your cool when you’re surrounded by tiny humans that just won’t listen to you.
As a parent, you probably know that screaming at your children isn’t the ideal way to communicate. But they just seem to be able to push you over the edge, and before you know it your yelling at the top of your voice.
How do you stay calm when your kids are driving you crazy?
Give yourself a time out
Whenever you feel your anger levels rising. Just stop. Take a breath. Count to 10. And if you can, leave the room for a few minutes to collect your thoughts and calm down.
Keep your expectations low
Kids will be kids. They haven’t learned how to behave properly yet. And they’re bound to push the boundaries (and your buttons) from time to time. You have to realise that it’s unrealistic to expect your kids to behave impeccably and obey every order you give them all of the time. And nor would you want them to. You’re trying to raise independent adults, not robots.
Try using a soft voice
Soft but firm. Research has found that that’s the tone that children respond to most readily. If you keep your voice soft they will have to concentrate to hear what you’re saying. And most of the time, they actually do.
That means your words will sink in quicker and things may not escalate to the point you can’t keep it calm any longer.
Teach children how to communicate
A lot of the time, very young children act out because they haven’t yet learned a more effective way of communicating their feelings. Try to work on ways the get them to explain how they feel when they get angry or upset rather than misbehaving, and you may find fewer situations that lead to you feeling the need to yell to be heard.
Remember not to rise to the bait
Sometimes children may misbehave in order to get your attention. And yes. Yelling still counts as attention. If you consciously ignore bad behaviour (within reason obviously). And praise good behaviour, you are teaching your children that the only way to get your attention is to be good.
At times, you may be able to predict your child eliciting the kind of behaviour that has you going off at the deep end. Try to go through your plan of action in your head before you have to face it head on so that you won’t be trying to come up with an effective way to respond in the heat of the moment.
If you really can’t control your shouting. And are not happy about it. Then remember there is help out there. There are online anger management classes you can take. Don’t be ashamed to admit you’re struggling. Trying not to yell at your kids is a struggle that all parents can relate to. You’re definitely not alone.